Fired up, then just plain fired... (Part 3)

15:00 - 16:00

At quarter past three I get a call to ONCE AGAIN grace the Managers office with my presence. Oh goodie... She told me that it was regarding last weeks 'incident'...

That, and a formal yet crazy complaint mixed up with an indecent exposure investigation...

The 'Incident'

Basically I was in the staff room with some of the female employee's, (in fact, I think I was the only staff member with an X chromosome in that day). We were talking about sex changes and I decided to tuck my tackle between my legs and expose the 'Mangina', shouting gleefully, "This is what a guy looks like after!"

Now what I saw happen in my head was everyone have a good hearty laugh, and I remain one of the most funny/adored members of staff...

Well, what ACTUALLY happened was like a scene out of a movie. You know, when someone stops a wedding or does something in a bar or restaurant that makes everyone stare whilst the music immediately cuts out.

For example, one girl slightly choked on her drink while another left the silent room with a 'you know you've done wrong' slow walk...

SO, that was last week and my Manager now informs me this has been an ongoing investigation after a complaint. The strange thing is though, the person who complained heard about it but WASN'T EVEN THERE!!!

As much as I hate internet abbreviations, WTF!?!!?!??!

According to the Manager she had to show the CCTV footage to the 'big-bosses' as the person who made the complaint didn't complain about what I did, but rather how she was worried I 'may do it again - infront of her - in the future'...

Things went downhill even faster from here. I told my Manager, "I think this is so funny, funny cause it's stupid."

She just glared at me which pissed me off even more so I followed with, "I also happen to think YOUR stupid."

She replied with, "Excuse me?" Hmmm, I couldn't figure out if she was shocked by what I said or she genuinely didn't hear me so I responded with a statement to cover all bases, "I think YOUR FUCKING STUPID!'

Turns out she did hear me and it was a rhetorical question...

She was like, "You don't have to the right to get angry or be rude. It was your mistake, you did it."

I told her, "I'm not getting pissed because of at what I did, I'm angry at the fact I'm getting fired over something I might do! When the hell did reality merge with fucking Minority Report?!" The whole situation did seem like a shit adaptation playing at around midnight midweek on the Sci-Fi channel...

Anyway, after that polite conversation I cleared out my locker and was escorted out of the building. I felt like fucking royalty...

I got paid a further week plus holiday from them and was in a new job literally a week later. Thank god fate was smiling on me that week! Still a lesson learned for all you guys out there; no matter how sure you are of the outcome, DO NOT (I repeat) DO NOT expose your Mangina at work...

Nothing good can come from it...

OOpus